"Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still". - Robert Sternberg
Extracted from : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship
Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.[1] Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship.[2]Intimate relationships involve physical and sexual attraction between people, liking and loving, romantic feelings, and sexual relationships, as well as the seeking of one or more mates and emotional and personal support for the members.[1] Intimate relationships provide a social network for people that provide strong emotional attachments, and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.[1]
To sustain intimacy for any length of time requires well-developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. Intimacy requires an ability to be both separate and together participants in an intimate relationship. Murray Bowen called this "self-differentiation". It results in a connection in which there is an emotional range involving both robust conflict, and intense loyalty.[2] Increasing one's differentiation is thought to be a lifetime project in which one grows in a capacity to better manage one's own connection as well as independence from one's family of origin and other close relationships. A higher level of differentiation would make one less apt to get drawn into other's emotional issues and be less emotionally reactive to close relationships.
Lacking the ability to differentiate oneself from the other is a form of symbiosis, a state that is different from intimacy, even if feelings of closeness are similar. There are 3 distinct subtypes of symbiosis including: mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism. Mutualism is any relationship between individuals of different species* where both individuals benefit. Commensalism describes a relationship between two living organisms where one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped. Parasitism describes a parasitic relationship in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed.
The building and successful maintenance of any relationship involves an intricate “dance” among these 3 subtypes of symbiosis over time. Marriage and/or long term intimate relationships are a marathon vs. a sprint and surviving this “dance” is essential to success and life-long fulfillment.
References:
*While men and women technically belong to the same "species", there are endless significant differences that inherently discourage true intimacy. The understanding and acceptance of these differences is vital to intimacy.
Extracted from : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship
Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.[1] Humans have a general desire to belong and to love which is usually satisfied within an intimate relationship.[2]Intimate relationships involve physical and sexual attraction between people, liking and loving, romantic feelings, and sexual relationships, as well as the seeking of one or more mates and emotional and personal support for the members.[1] Intimate relationships provide a social network for people that provide strong emotional attachments, and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.[1]
To sustain intimacy for any length of time requires well-developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. Intimacy requires an ability to be both separate and together participants in an intimate relationship. Murray Bowen called this "self-differentiation". It results in a connection in which there is an emotional range involving both robust conflict, and intense loyalty.[2] Increasing one's differentiation is thought to be a lifetime project in which one grows in a capacity to better manage one's own connection as well as independence from one's family of origin and other close relationships. A higher level of differentiation would make one less apt to get drawn into other's emotional issues and be less emotionally reactive to close relationships.
Lacking the ability to differentiate oneself from the other is a form of symbiosis, a state that is different from intimacy, even if feelings of closeness are similar. There are 3 distinct subtypes of symbiosis including: mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism. Mutualism is any relationship between individuals of different species* where both individuals benefit. Commensalism describes a relationship between two living organisms where one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped. Parasitism describes a parasitic relationship in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed.
The building and successful maintenance of any relationship involves an intricate “dance” among these 3 subtypes of symbiosis over time. Marriage and/or long term intimate relationships are a marathon vs. a sprint and surviving this “dance” is essential to success and life-long fulfillment.
References:
- Miller, Rowland & Perlman, Daniel (2008). Intimate Relationships (5th ed.). McGraw-Hill. ISBN 978-0-07-337018-7
- Aronson, E. (2003) The Social Animal, Ninth Edition, New York: Worth Publishers.
*While men and women technically belong to the same "species", there are endless significant differences that inherently discourage true intimacy. The understanding and acceptance of these differences is vital to intimacy.